Surviving What Was Meant To Destroy Me

Domestic violence affects far more people than most realize. Many people picture abuse as something sudden or obvious, but in reality, it often begins quietly. Control, jealousy, fear, intimidation, emotional manipulation, and isolation slowly become part of everyday life. Over time, unhealthy behavior becomes normalized, and many people find themselves trapped in situations they never imagined they would tolerate.

One of the most difficult things about abuse is that it rarely starts with violence. Most relationships begin with love, trust, attention, and hope for a future together. The harmful behavior usually grows gradually, making it difficult to recognize how serious things have become until fear and emotional exhaustion have already taken hold.

This song was written from my own experience surviving years of fear, manipulation, emotional trauma, and violence inside a relationship that slowly became dangerous. At its core, however, this song is not only about pain. It is about survival, faith, motherhood, and learning that God remains present even in the darkest moments of our lives.

For years, I lived constantly trying to prevent conflict, never knowing what might trigger anger or accusations next. Fear slowly became part of daily life. Walking on eggshells became normal. Peace eventually felt unfamiliar.

The emotional and mental damage from abuse can be difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced it. Over time, many survivors stop recognizing themselves. Confidence fades. Fear grows. Survival becomes the focus instead of living. Many people slowly lose their voice while trying to keep everything around them from falling apart.

There were moments in my life when I truly felt powerless and trapped. Situations escalated in ways that left me terrified and emotionally broken. Looking back now, I can see how deeply fear controlled my life during those years. At the time, however, survival often becomes the only thing a person can focus on.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” There were many nights when those words became real to me, even before I fully understood it. Looking back now, I can see that God never abandoned me, even during moments when I felt completely alone.

Over time, the abuse became impossible to ignore. What had once been emotional fear eventually left visible scars, both physically and emotionally. Like many survivors, I spent years minimizing what was happening and convincing myself I could manage it or survive it quietly. Many people living through abuse struggle to recognize how dangerous their situation has become because fear, guilt, and shame often silence them long before they ever ask for help.

One of the hardest parts of trauma is how long it stays with you afterward. Certain sounds, memories, smells, or situations can instantly bring back fear and anxiety even years later. Healing is rarely immediate. It is often slow, painful, and deeply personal.

The turning point in my life came when I realized I was no longer only trying to protect myself. I was trying to protect my daughter. That changes everything for a mother.

After making the decision to leave and seek safety, violence followed us in a way that could have easily ended our lives. During one terrifying night, gunfire tore through the house where my daughter and I were staying. I can still remember the fear of hearing bullets strike the house while knowing my child was only down the hall.

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In that moment, protecting my daughter became the only thing that mattered to me. Fear disappeared and instinct took over. Looking back now, I truly believe God carried us through that night. Isaiah 41:10 says, “Do not fear, for I am with you… I will strengthen you and help you.” Those words mean something very different after surviving moments where

you truly do not know if you will make it through.

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The next morning, seeing how close danger had come to my daughter changed my life forever. It forced me to realize there could be no returning to the life we had left behind. I believe God protected us through something that could have easily destroyed us both. Psalm 91:4 says, “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust.” I truly believe His hand was over us that night.

Leaving everything behind was painful, but survival demanded it. Healing afterward was not immediate, and in many ways it is still a journey. Trauma does not simply disappear overnight. However, faith helped me begin rebuilding the parts of myself that fear had slowly taken away.

This song is not only my story. It represents the experience of many people who silently carry fear, shame, anxiety, trauma, or emotional scars from abuse. Many people wonder if they will ever feel safe again, trust again, or recognize themselves again after surviving painful situations.

My prayer is that this song reminds someone they are not alone. Their pain does not define their worth. Their story is not over. God still sees them, still loves them, and still walks beside them even in the middle of fear and uncertainty.

Most importantly, this song is proof that what was meant to destroy me did not win. Faith, love, and God’s protection carried my daughter and me through the darkest season of our lives.